This is me about 5 years ago before my weight loss, I was depressed, lonely running in the same cycles over and over again and never getting any better. It was hopeless, I tried everything. All fad diets, exercised with friends and still stayed the same. I was addicted to food. Just like with any addiction you only get better when you had enough. You have to want to be done with it. I never want to see that Kim again…. Yet, I am terrified every day I will.

This is me a few years ago after the gastric sleeve surgery. I am a much happier person. I want to be honest I had the surgery because it changed my life. The journey was not easy, and it still isn’t. It was 4 years ago, and I still have 60 pounds to lose. I exercise regularly and the food issue is the worse. My healing journey is way more than just the exercise or the surgery. It’s so much more. Let’s face it, it was years and years of my head being a mess that got me the way I was.

Excuse the middle finger, I hated, my picture taken back then. I don’t even like this before and after picture.

When I turned 50, my cousin called me up and told me I was badass, and I was blown away…… me badass why? I just float though life and do what I do I told her. I have been through a lot, but to me they are all lesson to be learned. I never let anyone tell me who I am …….. anymore. I would like to share my message and inspire others to be just as confident in who they are. I wish I learned that early on, but I guess that’s the luxury with age they say. I say bullshit …… anyone can learn it. It’s a mindset. It is knowing you will not be perfect every time you try something.

Women are the worse when it comes to confidence because research says before we try anything we have to be perfect at it. Men don’t care. They just do it and deal with the outcome whatever that may be.

I grew up a bigger child, I wouldn’t say a fat child but my grandmother …. may she rest in peace would say differently. She is my first memory in crushing my self-esteem. I don’t know if she meant it to be helpful or mean but it always stuck with me. I would suck my stomach in and be on diets from the time I was nine years old. I was told men don’t like fat girls and I will end up lonely and single.

Losing the weight definitely helped with the confidence, but like I said it really is a mid-set. I going to talk about a lot of different things on this blog. I have so many interest that make me ………. me. All I ask is for everyone to have respect for one another thoughts opinions and ideas.